Pretty party? YES I CAN!

My husband and I are hosting Easter dinner (for our extended family of 26) at our house this year, and I tell you: The bar has been set. I believe it all began 40 years ago, when my incredibly charming grandmother, Mimi, would have our extended family over for a holiday meal. She spent a lifetime collecting Royal Doulton’s Old Country Rose patterned fine china, and you can bet her dinner table was always set flawlessly.

My sisters and I took note. Okay, who am I kidding? I was a tomboy and outside climbing the cherry tree and hitting target practice with my brother and my mom’s old Red Rider BB Gun. More importantly, my sisters took note, and eventually when my girl parts finally settled in and I married and had kids and became an internet geek and began entertaining guests and officially became feminine-ish (all pretty much in that order), I began to notice their attention to detail.

It started with plating. Heretofore, I would take my carefully prepared pasta and homemade sauce and roasted chicken and dump it in a bowl. Or slap it on a plate. Or two, even—depending on the amount of chicken and the forethought (or lack thereof) of grabbing a correctly-sized serving dish. Sure, there were placemats and mostly matched silverware.  But these days I truly shutter with mortification when I think of what little attention I paid to such things. It’s a miracle I cared enough to use clean dishes.

Mimi’s knack for table décor was passed on to my oldest sister, Denise, who sadly shrouds her mad table-setting skillz (yo) behind a work-a-day life as an ICU director (yawn) turned hospital administrator.  Knowing of her hidden talents and expertise, I think it’s a crying shame she followed some Florence Nightingale passion, giving up what could have been a lucrative career as a party decorator. (Kids parties, dog funerals, possibly the occasional bar mitzvah… the list is literally endless.) Talk about wasted talent: The woman can take a strip of burlap and a few ribbons and recreate the garden at giverny, right there down the center of any table. (Hello? Pretty parties helps people too, Denise. Whatever.)

Suffice it to say, my other sister, Joanna, has similar talents. And not only does her table always look beautiful and sophisticated, her food is downright gorgeous. And it doesn’t even have to be her food; Joey can put a store-bought roasted chicken on a plate and make you feel like you’re eating at a five star restaurant.

And then, THEN my brother had to go and marry this really awesome gal named Karen who apparently *also* had a hidden talent for event décor.  Walking into their home over the holidays? I made the mistake of looking for the escalator—I swear, that place was decked out to the Macy’s-at-Christmas nines, with just a hint of FAO Schwartz thrown in for good measure. Everything self-created, everything flawless and gorgeous. She swears she only bought a few things here and there, at garage sales and the dollar store and crafted the rest.

So you see what I’m contending with here. While I’m no longer the embarrassing slouch I was back in my 20s, it’s going to take a bit of creativity to run in the same entertaining-ranks as these women. Sure, I may have been a tomboy and grown into a baseball-loving, trash-talking internet geek, but that doesn’t mean all hope of my feminine success is lost. On the contrary: I have the power of Google on my side. (Keyword search: Easter table decorations.)

Here are a few ideas... Perhaps for your table as well?

Look at these pretty ladies! Simple, elegant, colorful. And talk about easy! Some tall glassware, a few simple stems and pebbles that can be found at craft stores, dollar stores--even in the fish aisle of the pet store

I love the antique look that silver can add to any place setting. And frankly, my mom has so many old pieces that have been handed down over time, I bet I can dig up a little something or two. Against white place settings? Instant elegance. And get a load of those cute jellybean-filled eggs! Whimsyyyyy. As for color, if being an internet geek has taught me anything, it's to love and appreciate an analogous color scheme.

Now imagine this cute flower in a springy color, and used as a napkin ring. It looks surprisingly easy to make following these instructions from V and Co, and by attaching a ponytail holder? Voila. I up my table's awesomeness factor by like 10 million. FACT.

My mind is churning. I'm going to come up with something nice-- I can do it. Now that I've stretched my imagination beyond tampon crafting, I can do anything.

DAY THE FIRST

It's kind of a weird season for me. Having been raised Catholic, you'd think I was big on Christmas. Or Easter. But you'd be wrong.

Lent was always my favorite season. What kind of weird little kid likes to give things up for what seems like an eon and a day, just to prove she can? THIS weird little kid. Oh sure, the season was about avoiding temptations blah blah Jesus sacrifice desert something blah blah-- no. For me, it was always about the challenge. I liked that I would be able to give up something that felt important to me, for an extended period of time, just to see if I could succeed. And then go give Jesus my private little high-five at the end. (Jesus is awesome like that.)

Later in life that sacrifice portion morphed into something different; giving up something physical didn't necessarily make me a better person.  And if that's the case, what's the point? Why bother giving up cheese if that doesn't affect a positive change for humanity? So, I tried to give up bad habits, like complaining and swearing. Neither ever lasted long, which is why I guess nobody ever gives those up during Lent...but I kept trying. And I liked my new-formed idea that I could dedicate a season to self-improvement and positivity as opposed to self-flagellation and an ever-mounting desire for cheese.

Being that I am no longer a Catholic (I gave it up for lent years ago and it stuck*), Lent is no longer *my* season. But I-- and my hubby (who is in my same boat)-- decided we would give Lent a little spin on its head yet again. Instead of seeing this as a time of sacrifice, let's look at it as a time of growth. Let's build on the idea that it is a time of self-improvement.

We decided, then,  that for the next 40 days, we would have to try something new everyday. The hope here is that our eyes would be just slightly more open to the world around us; that we might discover something new about each other and thus benefit our marriage and our family. And in that vein, THE WORLD.

TODAY'S NEW THING

TRACI: Got a manicure.
STEVE: Ate a mini-Cinnebon.

These are exactly the kinds of things that Jesus wanted us to do when he underwent 40 days of temptation in the desert, right? The ability for everyone to have their nails painted and to enjoy a petite pastry? you ask. Exactly.

Maybe not exactly. BUT...

See, I never take care of my hands. Like, ever. And they work very hard, and take care of many, many people. I suffer from very weak nails that split down into the quick and must keep them very, very short or suffer the consequences. And regardless of my constant clipping, they still split down into the nail bed and as a result I have these painful, sometimes bleeding cracks. I KNOW, poor me, RIGHT?? By taking the time to have them cared for, I found out about this really strong gel paint that should stay on for 3 weeks and help keep them from continued splitting.

Which is a good thing for me-- because, well, it will alleviate pain and allow me to continue on with my motherly duties; and a good thing for my family, because I'll be able to keep doing the things I do without complaint. About my hands, anyway. And I think, in the end, that makes me a better person.

As for Steve and the mini-Cinnebon... Steve is an awesome person. And he gave himself a little reward for being awesome, which is something he never, never does. And also by eating the Cinnebon it allowed me to feel superior to him because I did not eat a Cinnebon. And that is very Christian of both of us. Even though neither of us are Christian.

And I think Jesus would approve. Because you don't have to be Christian to know Jesus was pretty awesome like that.

* Actually, in the Catholic church, being a remarried person means I can no longer celebrate the Eucharist at mass. Murderers can though. That fact irked me.  And the Eucharist is really central to the faith. But let's be honest-- it's the entire theology; it just isn't my gig. Which is totally fine. And besides, a la Groucho Marx, why would I want to be part of any club that would have me as a member?