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hErDIng sQUirReLs
2Mar/11Off

Relaaaaxxxxx~~




Filed under: The Latest Comments Off




5Nov/10Off

Pay attention to the game

All the pundits are telling me what I think and have thought for the last year... but, see, no one is actually ASKING ME what I think or feel. Or most of the rest of us, for that matter. There are entire corporate-owned cable networks designed to create and craft my opinions, that then slowly feed them to me.

Hey, cable? I'm not eating.

In fact, I'm regurgitating.

1.  So the House went to the conservatives. Okay. Welcome to OFFICIALLY owning part of the blame. You've sat on the sidelines for 2 years now, COMPLAINING LOUDLY and saying the progressives weren't letting you play. Or they're doing it all wrong. Or the sun was in your eyes and you had a bad cold and your constituencies made you come to the game even though you didn't want to play and it's stupid and ENOUGH. We get it. No more sidelines. You have skin in the game now, so instead of sitting back and being obstructionist, DO SOMETHING.

2.  Stop bitching about the plays made by the first string, plays you considered crappy, and trying to force a re-do the same play now that it's your down. That play is over. MOVE ON. In other words, shut the hell up about health care.  It happened, you hate it, don't waste our time trying to revamp it right now because the president won't sign the legislation anyway--how about you just  MOVE THE BALL FORWARD. Go ahead: Give us something new.

3.  You know what I THINK this election was about? JOBS. It's all about how there aren't any and how we need to grow the economy and gosh, if only we could do something to change those darn unemployment numbers. It's too bad that this country's infrastructure is totally PERFECT, right? Because I mean, wow, if only we could use a high speed rail system. Think of all the issues that would solve! All the people it would employ in all the various sectors of the economy to build it and how when people are employed they spend money on things like houses and furniture and cars... People pay taxes on houses, right? So if more people had money and could buy homes, they would pay taxes on those homes?  So that increases the tax base. Larger tax base, pay off debt quicker, able to reduce taxes. Interesting.  Might even help out with that glut of foreclosures  out there. Oh, we don't have a high-speed rail system that other top notch countries have (like China and Japan and Europe and...Turkey)? Huh. That seems like a no brainer.  Because, historically speaking, investment in infrastructure has been a GOOD THING, economically, on all levels.

4.  Hey broadcast media, would you all shut the hell up and just do some work, please? Quit telling me my opinions. Ad nauseam. First, because you're wrong. I'm not drinking whatever Kool Aid you're trying to feed me. The world isn't going to Hell in a hand basket.The sky isn't falling, we're not all living in ramshackle tents on the street. That's Haiti, actually. This is over-privileged America, where the grass literally IS greener, thank you Miracle-Gro. Second, yes, things are tough and things suck for lots of people but the suffering most of us experience currently is due to malaise. Those who are suffering the most probably didn't even realize there was an election-- they were just trying to figure out how to get food on the table and who was picking whom up from soccer practice and how to fit in an extra AA meeting this week and how we're going to pay the damn medical bills this month. The constant hammering of how everything sucks is just making everything suck more LOUDLY. I'm not saying acknowledging it is bad, but good lord, ease the fuck up. The Chicken Little bit is causing anxiety to skyrocket.

5. Finally, well... I guess I'm just stunned. I don't know why it wasn't brought up sooner, but clearly the conservatives hate government. But it's a necessary function of a civilized society...  So why did we, as employers, just hire a bunch of employees that distrust, hate and don't believe in the merits of our core business?

Regardless... here we are, we voters, in the middle of a chill economy, our asses frozen to the metal bleachers while watching this ridiculous game unfold before us. All I'm asking is that this bunch of yahoos  MOVE THE DAMN BALL FORWARD. We are, after all, on the same team.

Aren't we?








6Oct/10Off

Caramel Corn: For the love of my children

It’s my favorite time of year. The weather has finally—if briefly—cooled down; the fair is in town; and we’re planning a Halloween party.

Honestly, does life get better than this?

Naturally my food planning led me to concentrate on treats. I got sucked into a how-to video, and have become convinced that making Caramel Corn it is the easiest thing in the world to do. As a good and loving mother, it would be wrong of me-- WRONG I tell you-- to deprive my monkeys of this traditional dish. For dinner. Tonight.

Check out the video for yourself. You'll see what I mean.

Interested in making it? Thought so. Here’s the recipe.








4Oct/10Off

Kermits’ “Under Pressure”

This video came to my way via The Daily What. Their words: "The most moving lip dub of Queen and David Bowie’s “Under Pressure” performed by a homeless man holding two Kermit puppets you will see today, guaranteed." I ask you: Kermit the Frogs syncing Mercury & Bowie? What's not to love?








27Sep/10Off

What do I do?

My daughter came home from her dad's house yesterday, giggling with glee. "MOM! I lost my other toof!" Running toward me, holding up a Ziploc baggie with appeared to be a small corn niblet inside, she ponders loudly the possible worth of the thing to the Tooth Fairy. Then off she goes, showing her even-gummier smile to anyone within earshot.

Fast forward to 5:30 a.m., soft sighs of slumber slip from Syd's room as I exit, having just secretly purchased her top, front tooth. Examining the tiny bit of ivory, I recall the joy of its appearance in our lives and the many happy memories since its arrival, blah blah blah lovingly place the tiny gem in a keepsake box blah blah blah WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS THING?

...and that's where my adoration and musing ends. I stare at the various cardboard ring boxes in my top drawer, two of which hold my older boys' baby teeth. And now I have Sydney's piling up in a little box of her own. I have, quite literally, a drawer full of teeth, all of them real, none of the mine. If someday I decide I want to make a statue using discarded human remains, I'm set, mouth-wise. But until then... Some people collect silver spoons. Or shot glasses. I like to go with things that are a little more organic.

Honestly, I had no idea what people did with these things. I mean, throwing away part of my child's body just feels weird. But hanging on to a little box filled with their DNA feels equally strange.

So I started asking other parents what they did with the things.

Responses?

"Tossed them out."
"Buried them in the ground."
"Kept the first one, and discarded the rest."

None of these feel quite right either, though I do like the burying idea.

Mostly, I'd like to hear what you other moms have to say: What did you do with your child's baby teeth?