It’s a color, not a bread

As a web designer of old I was once familiar with things like analogous color schemes and the importance of balance and the necessity of snarkiness and all black clothing. But being a web girl, I wasn't really hip to the whole Pantone thing. I confused it with that Italian bread, which frankly is apparently so fat and calorie laden that I refused to try it. Also becuse it had raisins.

Did you ever notice how every year there seemed to be some color that was uber popular with EVERYONE on the planet? From clothes to makeup to flippin' little plastic cups to toasters to Truck Nutz, it seemed like everything would suddenly be following some similar color pattern. And I, in my uninformed brain, would be like HOW DID THEY ALL KNOW? HOW DID THEY ALL INDEPENDENTLY DECIDE THAT TURQUOISE WOULD BE AWESOME THIS YEAR?

For those who were clueless just like I once was-- let me enlighten you: Nobody independently decides anything. Like most global decisions, this color thing involves conspiracy and covert decision making and probably the CIA in some capacity.

Panattone Bread: Perpetual loser

Every year a secret, elite group of snarky, black-wearing designers meets to discuss the zeitgeist-- "the spirit of the age"-- and based on such, decides what shall be the Pantone color of the Year. (At least I think that's how it goes. Maybe it's just a group of Pantone execs and the CEO of Target.)

Anyway, then the color is decided upon and the WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD lives on pins and needles for the very moment when the color is announced. Will it be Blue Blossom? Succulent Pickle? Iridescent Brown?

This year's winner: Still not Panettone bread. Which is good for raisin haters. No, this year's color, Tangerine Tango, "is a bit exotic, but in a very friendly, non-threatening way." Which makes me happy because I hate-- HATE-- when I feel threatened by a color. Because I get all, "FUCK YOU COLOR, I'LL KICK YOUR ASS" and the color is all, "FUCK YOU CRAZY, I DO WHAT I WANT. PLUS YOU'RE YELLING AT YOUR SHIRT." And I have to concede that a violent relationship with my clothing is good for almost no one. (Stupid shirt.)

Tangerine Tango: Apparently the zeitgeist of 2012

So there it is: Color of the Year. Enjoy it. Dance with it. Don't eat it (because it's not actually food).