She can and she did

“Who is that, check her out!” The three boys laughed when I turned. “Turn back around,” they yelled. I kept walking. “Nope, not her. Her butt’s no good.”

Panic lit in me and I looked down. What? My butt was no good?! Here I was, fifth grade, minding my own business walking across the blacktop, and I’d already been stamped as having an unattractive butt FOR LIFE.

Yes, I was being inappropriately ogled by a group of boys on the playground and yes, whatever they said was grotesque and stupid and shouldn’t matter. But I was wearing overalls, for gawd’s sake, and nobody’s butt looks good in those.

And there you have it: how I thought about that incident for the next 30 years. They judged me, and I was upset that I’d lost the competition because I wore the wrong outfit that day. By golly, I could do better; I wanted to be the best darn object those boys ever judged!

And so began my life-long struggle with my body image. I have always been too flabby, too veiny, with a smile way too big and a butt way too– *sigh*. Don’t get me started on my butt.

Having such a struggle is a dangerous thing, especially in the hands of a female who grows into a woman who becomes mom (and insta-mom) to four daughters—two of whom have weight issues.

Put bluntly, they are overweight. This isn’t me with my body-image-critical glasses on; it’s something both of their doctors had labeled “obesity.” My older stepdaughter was able to be part of a weight-loss-based reality TV show last summer and suffice it to say, at age 19, she is in command of her own body.

But my younger stepdaughter… as a parent, I see it as my responsibility to make sure she gets on a healthy path and stays there. As a step-parent, I know I have to tread more carefully than to simply make changes and demands “because I said so.” Next year she enters middle school, and being one of the brightest, funniest, sweetest and prettiest girls I know, I don’t ever want her to be subject to taunts across the playground. Or end up spending her life looking down and wishing she was different. Or at least hadn’t worn the stupid overalls that day.

A few months back she and I went to the doctor and got the verdict: high triglycerides. Worse, she’s genetically predisposed to high cholesterol, no matter what her weight is. We talked about how important it was to get this under control now, so that she can help control it when (not so much if) the genetic component pops up.

At first we worked together to change her eating habits. We knocked out sugar; we reduced carbs; and we reduced portion sizes. I say we, but the truth is, she’s the one who made the choice to change. And she continues to stick with it.

Second, we looked at activities. Being that she was involved in every sport at school, it seemed it would be difficult to increase or add school sports beyond what she was already involved with. However, one lonely school flyer changed our world.

The flyer was for the iCAN Triathlon Club, a nonprofit organization that teaches kids ages 7 to 19 the sport of triathlon. Through 3 practices per week, both she and her younger stepsister have learned how to properly swim freestyle; how to mount and dismount a bike; how to run in a race; and then, how to do all three consecutively.

Our kids’ involvement with the group has been one of the best things we’ve been able to do for their health and their sense of personal accomplishment. Last weekend they both participated in the Sierra Kids Triathlon and had a blast doing it.

And, as a side benefit, my stepdaughter has lost one pound per week since she joined the club. Believe it or not, it’s been weight loss that hasn’t been miserable. By steadily working at becoming a stronger athlete, she’s almost lost 20 pounds. And she’s learned that if she works hard enough, she can meet and exceed her goals– and it doesn’t matter what outfit she’s wearing.