Graduation season is upon us

I just wanted to remind everybody that it’s graduation season and the deadline for ordering announcements, caps and gowns is January 8. So if you don’t mind, hurry up there you super parents, and get on that whole reversing-the-rotation-of-the-Earth thing, because apparently my teenager thinks that I’m some kind of superhero and CAN DO EVERYTHING, EVEN REVERSE TIME.

Why else would she have kept the unopened packet carefully cloistered beneath swells of laundry in her filth pit (aka bedroom)?

Unfortunately, my upper body strength isn’t what it used to be and I can’t *quite* halt the Earth and reverse the polarity of the neutron flow to make time go backwards. Like, not even a little bit.So if any of you super parents can do that, throw me a bone here and help me out. Please.

I wouldn’t be asking to use your super strength if it weren’t, you know, MARCH already. And if we weren’t almost officially 2 months behind the gun. Oh, and if I weren’t now subject to some huge late-ordering fee for something I had no idea about until this morning.

Enough of my whining. Yes, the deadline for ordering was January 8, but the handout said “Go online to place late orders.” Fine. I decide I will.

That’s when I notice that graduation packages started at $120.00. *gulp*

Immediately the cheapo in me wonders if my grad really needs all this stuff. Like, the “Senior Pride Portfolio.” What is that? Is she going to ever need that in her life? Ahh, your college application looks excellent but, unfortunately, it lacks pride. Senior Pride, to be exact. If only you’d had some sort of portfolio…Maybe not.

And what is this—a “Bling Tassel”? Is it really worth $10? I mean, for that kind of investment, this Made in China rhinestone covered number 10 POS better actually raise my kid’s sense of self worth BY TEN WHOLE DOLLARS or it’s just one giant rip off.

And could she survive into old age without suffering massive pangs of regret for never having owned a “2010 Spinning Key Chain” or a “Senior Class Stein” (as in, beer stein-- seriously)? I’m thinking maybe she can.

I decide to skip those items. A quick calculation and I see by not going the package route, I’ve already saved $55! WHOO HOO! What else can we do without?

Hmm…Specialized announcements and personalized name cards. Toughy…Well, sure, yes, I had them when I graduated. And so did everyone in my family. And all of my friends, and their friends and family and basically everyone in the whole entire human race but why should I feel any pressure to succumb to tradition? She’s just my kid, right?

And while I’m at it, who needs a cap and gown on graduation day? Honestly. I could easily make something out of some old sheets and a pizza box. And, and—

…and then one last little nugget catches my eye: The words “LATE-ORDERING DEADLINE” followed by the words “MARCH 1.”

My cheapness is overcome by my sudden need to get this thing done and done right—but first I’ve got to be able to get it done at all. Thus, I do what any mom worth her weight in salt would do: I call the ordering company and beg them until my eyes bleed.

And it works. Maybe I’m more of a super parent than I thought.