Same as it ever was

You know that lady at the supermarket who has a cart overflowing with kids and groceries, navigating the aisles in her work clothes while stuffing her face with a freshly-opened bag of rice cakes? She somehow manages to simultaneously listen to the13-year-old jabbering on about his day and ignore the 6-year-old trying to lay down in the bottom of the moving cart, all while a teen follows distantly, texting away? If that same lady has an intent-yet-crazed look on her face, clearly meal planning for the next 3 meals and knowing she’s forgetting what she came for, chances are you have seen me. I am that lady, despite my best attempts at planning, pretty much every night of the week between 6 and 6:30. Also if you did see me, I’m sorry if I rolled over your foot or something. Chances are it was an accident. Maybe.

It’s not that I’m disorganized. I think you need to have higher brain function in order to comprehend a sense of organization. I’m not there yet. Because even the simplest tasks, I perform them, I repeat them, and I get them wrong every flipping time.

Case in point: I walk into the market and go immediately to the vegetable aisle. Always. Every time. I park on that side of the grocery, it’s the entrance that is closest to my car, I’m a vegetarian… go figure. So there I am, in the veggie aisle and I scope out the biggest bunch of bananas, and think, “This will last a few days.” Nevermind that I have seven kids and the bunch has nine bananas. Nevermind that we have to make seven lunches the next morning. Nevermind that our kids are banana hounds and that stupid bunch will last maybe a day, if I’m lucky. Somehow, I am still convinced that this is a massive bundle of fruit.

I’ve been making this mistake for two years now. I just recently graduated to the “two bunch per shop” thought process. I’ve also learned to buy massive amounts of other fruits and veg, not because I realized that “massive amounts” is the appropriate quantity for my brood, but that I decided in a fit of frustration I was going to see how much I could buy and how much would just sit there on the countertop at the end of the week, rotting away.

The answer is: none. None fruit wasted away. In fact, I could have purchased even more. I know this because the next night, I am back, reloading my cart.

When I’m done filling my cart with veg and more veg and even more fruit and veg, I hit the other aisles of very heavy food that inevitably force me to rearrange my basket because holy crap, I’m on the path to squishing everything if I’m not careful.

Every night. Same dilemma.

Every night, something gets squished.

Every night I end up in line, scolding the 6-year-old to stay away from the gum and candy and asking my disinterested teen to run back to the car for the canvas shopping bags.

So there you have it: my nightly travail. Yes, I’m disorganized. True, I’m distracted.

But at least I’m consistent.