Bank of America: Ethics? We don’t need no stinking ethics.

I am not a mathematician. I am not an accountant. It is not easy for me to manage my finances, but I try very, very hard. And because of this challenge, I take great pride in being able to maintain my accounts and pay bills on time. (*knocks on wood*)

Occasionally I make mistakes. And the bank is always quick to penalize me for them. And today, I admit my mistake. And the bank was quick to penalize me.

And keep on penalizing me.

In short: I check my account before I go to bed, and I see I have 5 items pending on my account. All five were covered by the funds available.

The next morning, I see a check has caused my account to go overdrawn—a check that I wasn’t expecting to be cashed for another day. Worse, an online payment I’d penned in for a day later had also shown up. My bad. I royally screwed up.

My bank pounces like the evil, blood-sucking predator that it is. (I’m talking about you, Bank of America. I hate you. Let’s just get that out there.) My bank covers the one check, the online payment, and then covers the five other pending transactions that hit my account first; and instead of charging me the one fee for the check that caused the overdraft, they charge me FIVE FEES, for the smaller items that—by my understanding—had already been covered.

I spoke to a customer service agent who agreed that these fees were unreasonable and wanted to reverse some of them, but was prevented by the system. He forwarded me to his supervisor, who had it within her ability to reverse the erroneous fees, and she flat out refused to assist. She then forwarded me to her manager, who listened thoughtfully, but again refused to reverse the fees.

All 3 agents agreed that I shouldn’t have been charged. All 3 agents agreed that it appeared that Bank of America had covered the items.

And two agents had it within their capacity to make the changes, and refused.

So here I sit, $175 in fees staring at me for items that the bank had already shown to have covered, instead of the two fees which I clearly deserved. I made a mistake—two in fact—and I own up to them. I was grateful they covered my backside by covering those two items. Penalizing me for five non-malicious items is beyond absurd; it’s greed.

As for the service agents refusal to reverse the fees? My guess is that these managers have a quota to meet. Kind of like those bad mortgage brokers that got spiffs for pushing through loans (even if they knew they’d go bad), this customer service manager at Bank of America will likely also meet or beat some kind of number and get some kind of spiff—for not reversing disputed fees. Or, more blatantly, for not doing what is right, but what was greedy.

The next time you worry if your bank will still be solvent amidst this economic crisis, look at your bank statement. Anybody else notice a proliferation of charges based on “new policies?” Gotten many “Changes to Your Account” brochures in the mail?

Rest assured: They’ll always find a new way to ding you.

Addendum: See the Google AdSense ads (text ads) over there? Likely one reads, "Bank of America." Please select it. I am hoping to at some point earn my $175 back.