The Washington Post reported an interesting little nubbin today: Despite what they say, teens are likely to have sex. Color me surprised.

But I'm paraphrasing. Ahem.

The direct quote: "Teenagers who pledge to remain virgins until marriage are just as likely to have premarital sex as those who do not promise abstinence and are significantly less likely to use condoms and other forms of birth control when they do, according to a study released today."

Whoever would have thought that teens, who are likely the ficklest creatures on the planet, would actually ever be influenced by people other than parents? (Because none of us EVER complain about being ignored by our teens, AMIRITE?) Or you know, their religious community? Whoever thought that teenagers would test the limits of individuality and science, that they could be-- and oftentimes are-- swayed by peers, television, pop culture?

Enough with the sarcasm. Time for the soap box.

If you have a teenager living in your home, CONGRATULATIONS! You have your very own, bonafide, on-the-way-to-adulthood person. As said owner (and if it came out of your body or was legally joined to your family in some way, you own it), it is your responsibility to feed, clothe and care for said person. And explain life. The pretty-in-pink realities and the grotesque green ones, too. AND the whole rainbow in between.

Thus, it is your responsibility to explain to your teenage person that they have a body and must clean it, hopefully daily. They must brush teeth and hair, they must wash with soap, and they must understand their entire body's basic functions.

Explain that they need to poop at least once a day. A lot of people don't know this.

They need to drink water-- not just any old liquid, but actual water-- so that their urine is clear or close to it when they use the toilet. (Explain what urine is-- they may not know.) Drinking water will help keep them healthy in ways they cannot possibly fathom. And it will help them with the pooping thing.

Oh, and better still, do EVERYONE a favor and tell them about their sex parts. Their genitals/genitalia. What they are for; the process of menstruation (moms-- it's good for your sons to understand this too); how the sex parts work and how to keep from getting diseases and getting pregnant.

Even if they swear they will never have sex until marriage. Even if they die of embarrassment as you discuss it. Even if YOU die of mortification helping them understand.

Why?

You have lungs. I bet you know what they are for.
You have a heart. I bet you understand what it is for.
So why fear the vagina? (OHMYGAWD I SAID IT) Moms, you're a proud owner. Explain to your children what it's for. It's function. That, and the penis. (OHMYGAWD I SAID THAT TOO)

(NOTE: I said explain. Not show. We're just using WORDS here.)

Explaining to your child the simple facts of sex-- that no one is immune to pregnancy until a doctor announces, "It's official, you're immune to pregnancy"-- is vital for their health and well-being. And possibly, their friends health and well-being, because that is how many kids learn about sex-- from their peers.

I have heard and understand the argument that some adults feel explaining sex to a younger person is akin to tacit permission. That it is irresponsible to give a child such information because the child will then USE that information. I can understand this argument.

To you I say this:

Would you strap a loaded gun to your teenager, and expect that teenager to leave it alone? To not to pick it up, or even touch it a little? Would you expect their overwhelming curiosity and all the influences of the world to have no affect whatsoever on their actions?

Would you tell your child, "just leave it alone," and expect your teenager to listen? Or would you acknowledge the gun, explain the safe handling of it, and fervently appeal to the teenager to understand the dangers involved in using the gun?

Because there is no knowing. So your kid says meh, I won't even touch the gun. But maybe his/her best friend doesn't know any better? Maybe this BFF decides that handling their gun is just fine. Wouldn't you want your kid to be the one with the correct information?

So I guess what I'm saying is, teenage sex is like a loaded gun. You NEVER know when it is going to go off or who pulls the trigger. (This is the best metaphor EVER.)

Or if your child's sincere oath to never, never, never have sex until marriage is really the same at age 17 as it was at age 14.

People change. Having knowledge and understanding of one's body is a very healthy thing.