My mom went to the hospital and all I got were these stupid genes
My father used to lament my feet. He lamented them because they were his feet.
He would apologize profusely every time he saw them, as not only are they highly unattractive on a female, he was forever plagued by ingrown toenails, calcium deposits and muscle pain.
He dreaded knowing what I was in for.
Moving up from there, [...]
Kids maek me smurt
I sat there, slack jawed and drooly, staring at my computer screen yet seeing nothing. I had just opened a program and suddenly could not—for the life of me—remember why.
Later I walked out of my office to tell a colleague a very important piece of information. Wait. Which colleague? Who was I about to talk [...]
Suzie Orman: Wow.
It’s not often I am at a loss for words. In fact, I could go on for the next two hours about how I could go on for the next two hours. But yesterday, after I had my introduction to Suzie Orman, all I could say was…
Wow.
And still… wow.
Yesterday I was fortunate enough to attend [...]
Sydney would go nuts for this
Spongebob close upOriginally uploaded by sandrascakes
Are you ready for some FOOTBAAAAAALLLL? … meh.
So I showed up to the fantasy football draft expecting hubris.
…I showed up expecting beer.
… I showed up with my little printout of the top 30 draft picks my fantasy football fanatic friend (FFFF) gave me, glomming onto the little bits of knowledge he passed my way. I earnestly felt I had the inside scoop. [...]
