I’m learning.

“I’m late,” she said, looking at me with wide eyes and shame. My bleary-eyed self was not ready for this. I was two sips into my coffee before she came to me with the news she could tell no one else. Cloistered away in the car, the two of us sat staring out the windshield. If I wasn’t ready for this, there was no way her dad would ever be.

We have that relationship, my stepdaughter and I; I am that non-parent port in a storm that can equally guide her forward as be her sounding board. We’re new at this, but we both feel blessed in our ability to communicate. But this… this I was not expecting.

I was stunned. Speechless. My mouth flubbered around for something intelligent and compassionate to say and the only thing to crash forth was, “But…Have you even had sex??!”

She began to slowly nod, which turned into a slow head-shake, which turned into a very slow, “Nope…. But it’s April Fools today.”

*snap* oooohhhh, she got me, the rat.

Allow me to introduce myself: My name is Gullible Suckerpants.

In case some of you have forgotten, escaped, or have been hiding under a rock, today is April Fools’ Day. And if you love a good fool story, be sure to check out some of the whoppers flying around the net.

First up: Last year’s masters are back, and at if with a mega dose. Google has at least two good pranks out there. Check out the all new Google TiSP Beta, their free in-home wireless broadband service.

Need a little escape? Apply to be a Virgle pioneer, “the first permanent human colony on Mars.”

Gmail users will appreciate the new Google Custom Time feature—a service that will allow users to send e-mail from the past. “You tell us what time you would have wanted your email sent, and we'll take care of the rest. Need an email to arrive 6 hours ago? No problem,” the site says. But hop on the feature, because it disappears all Cinderella-like at midnight.

One of the Web’s better reads is ESPN’s “Election Deathmatch Coverage,” where Clinton and Obama will apparently “face off in a winner-take-all tournament.”

Finally, are you tired of always being the office fool and never the fooler? Get going on a few good pranks of your own. Check out Popular Mechanics “Top 5 April Fool’s Day Pranks.”

As for my stepdaughter... the old shaving-cream-in-the-hand-tickle-your-face trick is sounding awfully good.....