It was a big weekend for me.

I’d been informed, by a super secret, totally anonymous source that I had “too much junk in the trunk” and I needed to lose weight. Someone I apparently met at “Kimber’s party” was bored and wanted excitement, and politely queried whether I was interested in perusing “hot XXX shots” of her on her live Web cam. I'd also gotten an amazing business offer from this really needy poor-speller in Nicaragua which I am a little hesitant to mention here because I’m supposed to keep it under wraps. Suffice it to say, with a small investment, the exiled prince will be sending me MILLIONS for my efforts.

Wow. I could retire and become a full-time blogger. Right after I enhance my penis, of course.

Spam, spam, spam, spam, unwanted e-mail and spam. It’s exactly like that really funny Monty Python sketch, only there are no men in drag with overloud squawky voices. That, and it’s not funny.

Frankly, it’s been awhile since I’ve been subjected to the deluge of offers and the unapologetic cajoling of peddlers trying to sell me various and sundry items, or the pleadings of anonymous people pushing me to make really bad X-rated choices. And I hadn’t missed it. Yes, I would occasionally get this junk e-mail at work, but our ultra strong-like-bull spam filter would kill out most of this stuff. And since I switched to gmail (Google’s free super awesome [technical term] e-mail service), my personal account has been largely spam free. My e-world went quiet.

And it has been deliciously quiet for several months.

But then, suddenly, lately, it’s back, spawning like sick salmon fighting their way upstream to my inbox with an unforeseen tenacity. Over the last few weeks I’ve begun receiving a spate of offers from Russia. And this spam, it’s nothing like the old days. There are no images of sexy vixens, no mortgage offers, no sound files, no badly designed, overly-blinky HTML giving me seizures.

This spam is black and white and text driven, and boring. Enough squabbling, we have the answer: boring spam is a sure sign of recession.

(cross posted to centralvalleymoms.com)