Post Game Analysis: Week Five

Down one (off at camp) and still it was the Hardest Week Yet.

Offhand, I would say we are dealing with the following issues:

* Teenage-ism: Also known as "I know all, parents are so out of it"-ism.
* Aspergers Syndrome: Both diagnosed, and the Suspected-yet-Undiagnosed. In life, in general, sometimes there are no explanations for why certain things bother certain people. We all have our peccadilloes, it's true. The difference is, with most people, you can anticipate EXACTLY what those peccadilloes might be. With Aspbies, it might just be the way you say "maybe" combined with the light levels in the room.
* Toddlerism: They own the world. Why even try?
* Depression: I think it lurks, loudly, like the zebra crapping endlessly in the living room that everyone sees and pointedly doesn't duscuss. Help is needed. But first, doctor's need to return PHONE CALLS so APPOINTMENTS can be made.
* Bossiness: Six kids. Duh.
* Grumpiness: That's me when low on caffeine.
* Lonliness: Even when the room is full, some people still feel off-put.

It's a great big household. THANK GAWD PIC and i have the weekend sans kids.
:^)

Merry Commercialism Season

Thank you, severely blond neighborhood real estate lady, for that wonderful holiday card/calendar/refrigerator magnet you left on my doorstep. It was so thoughtful of you to be the very FIRST to remind me of the importance of the holiday season by simultaneously wishing me "Holiday Blessings" and also informing me of the many services you provide neighbors such as myself. I was not only amazed by your prompt delivery of your card -- NOVEMBER 1! -- but impressed by its ability to multitask.

Your card/calendar/magnet makes me want to shout thanks to the heavens for all those hard-working people in third world countries who made it possible for me to receive such an amazing thing, so useful, so almost personalized.

In fact, thank you third-world people for working so hard so I can decorate my home with a truckload of plastic crap. You all know what I mean-- the largely-unrealistic, highly-cheap decorator items I get at TargetWalgreensCostcoRiteAidEnterNameOfChainStoreHere, the items that popped out on display on the morning of October 31 so I would know that the official start of the holiday season officially started a month earlier than last year. Officially.

No sooner did I remove the Styrofoam gravestones, synthetic skeletons, and polyurethane pumpkins from my yard, than was I greeted with all kinds of kitschy, colorful doo-dads to announce that the season of peace and goodwill toward humankind was underway-- just right down the aisle from the "Support Our Troops" car magnets, wouldn't you know.

Yes, thank you China -- and all you other third world countries whose names are not important enough for me to commit to memory -- for trading your clean water and clean air and stunting your children's futures so that my family and I might enjoy the freon and lead-based pine tree in our living room, or the ozone depleting, life-sized snow globe in my neighbor's front yard... ESPECIALLY since I live in an arid region and likely wouldn't be able to fully grasp the concept of the holiday season without these man-made nature-knock-offs...

Moreover, thank you big business for helping me truly see this vast, gaping hole in my life and producing everything any individual could possibly imagine, just so I could fill it. And all for a very reasonable price.