Bad mommy

I heard a small voice shouting at me from across the house, and I actually sank lower into my chair. In some kind of ridiculous way, I was attempting to hide even more quietly in my room, while at my computer. I got all still-like, similar to a mouse who's trying to go undetected. The problem is, I'm mommy -- which is EXACTLY like being a brown mouse hiding quietly against a white background. Or like a horn blaring through the silence. Or like a searchlight existing on a dark night. Or... you get the idea.

No worky.

What makes my shrinking particularly silly is that I was entirely alone, behind a closed door in my bedroom, working quietly at my computer which FACES A WALL. I was actually trying to hide what would technically be IN FRONT of my computer, thus remaining in plain sight.

It makes no sense. I know that now.

Seconds later, my brilliant secret lair was infiltrated. A four-year old burst through the door, her hyena-like chatter filling the room with a barky, non-stop patois laced with too many pronouns to follow logically.

POINT: If I lived in the wild, I would be hyena food right now. WORST HIDER EVER.