One last thing

In regards to my arse and the continued fear of blistering/chaffing/overall horrendous pain, I just forked over bank for a new saddle. And yes, while it was a lot of money, I've learned so much already: Apparently, the human body has these things called "sit bones" which, oddly enough, are made for "resting one's hide." The sit bones are two pressure points on the rumpus.

I finally learned what other people (READ: Men) are refferring to when they say their arse is hurting from riding. Clearly, it's not their vagina. While I was entirely correct in using that particular organ for childbirth, I was way off-base trying to use it for sitting. I'm clear on that now.

There. I've said it outright. My other seat was forcing me to sit incorrectly. THAT issue appears to have been resolved.

My arse, on the other hand, frickin' hates me now.

Conversation

Sydney: Please have juice.
Me: How do we ask nicely?
Sydney: Please.
Me: Sydney, I'll get you juice if you ask me nicely.
Sydney: Please.
Me: "May I please have juice?"
Sydney: Please have juice.
Me: May I
Sydney: May I
Me: please
Syndey: please
Me: have juice?
Sydney: Please have juice.

Lunch Break Notes

I got an e-mail from an old friend of mine, whom I just informed of my marital status. Despite my feelings to the contrary, he informed me that I am not, as I fear, "White Trash," but rather, "White Recyclable."

In other news, I've recently learned an open bottle of red wine lasts 3 or so days, and tastes amazingly vinegary after 15.

As a side note, vinegar-tasting wine is horrendous and despite all rational thought, does not taste any better on the third, fourth, or tenth sip. It also can cause mild stomach discomfort.

When potty training a toddler, be aware that when you come home from work you just *might* find the potty chair full and placed directly in front of the television.

You might also be presented with a full-potty bin at any given moment, especially when you are least expecting it. Like making dinner, for example. Such presentation is usually made by the toddler, proudly greeting you with her potty bin hoisted overhead and pants around her ankles.

Tween-age boys sometimes speak in falsetto. Randomly. Mid-sentence. They also develop underarm hair. You must be sly when investigating if they have reached that point in development, or rather, have merely stuffed a dead rat in their pocket to produce such a musky stench.

Ten-year old boys, however, do not speak in falsetto but if they catch you trying to slyly determine whether their brother has underarm hair, they will slyly check their own armpits for such hair, when they think you aren't looking.

I’m going to PERU!!!!!!

I did it.
I planned.
I saved.
I got tour books.
I shopped online for months for the perfect flight.

I DID IT!!!
I got tickets-- 3 of them-- for Trevor, Harrison and I to fly out of Los Angeles on June 19 and into Lima, Peru!

We're going to the inti raymi festival!
We're going to see colorful birds!
We're going to touch the waters of the Amazon and walk through the Amazonian Rainforest!
I'M GOING TO GO SHOPPING IN SOUTH AMERICA!!!!!

Anybody got travel tips for me?

I don’t want to talk about my moronic inability to master such difficult tasks as walking.